Thoughts on Motherhood

*Note: The following is an excerpt from my journal, written 07 May 2011. I thought perhaps it would be an applicable blog post for this Mother's Day weekend. Mostly I just advocate sharing raw, genuine (not to mention RAMBLING) thought and emotion and therefore do it far too much. Anyway, here ya go...

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I was thinking about this tonight, and I wanted to journal my thoughts. Hopefully someday down the road, my kids will read this and realize (if there were ever any doubts) how I feel about being their mother.

I love it. I feel blessed. I feel honored. I feel tired. :) But I feel happy.

I've always wanted to be a mother. I don't, however, think I fully realized what that really meant until I was one. I wanted a baby, to love and take care of, but I never realized that a baby is a REAL PERSON! That my child would have likes, dislikes, opinions and personality that I had no influence on forming! I think James was a few months old when this realization fully dawned on me. Haha! At first I was just baffled- "What do I do with this??" But now, it makes being a mother that much better! Because now, I know that I didn't just birth a possession... I was given a friend.

Heavenly Father sent me amazing children. They both are so sweet and kind and GOOD! Derek and I talk about this a lot- just how blessed we are to have such good kids. They really are.

James is compassionate and funny and so, so smart. He has a beautiful voice and loves to use it! He's silly. He's imaginative. He's super social, and he's absolutely darling. He's a total boy, and he's a total sweetheart!

Jolie is a total girlie girl (already!). She is snuggly and sweet. She loves to play and is so silly. She already has a sense of humor and also loves music (dancing and "singing" all the time). She absolutely idolizes her brother (could be because they have so much in common- this just realized, haha). She's adorable! We really quite adore her.

Granted, they're not perfect angels all the time (and some days not at all). They both can be little stinkers sometimes. But really, we just know how fantastic they are and have set the bar pretty high. (Also, I likes me a bit of sass! Sh! Tell no one!)

Above all, we love them. I love them. With all of my heart- and more, that I never even knew existed until they came into my life. I cannot even express how much I adore them and how grateful I am to have them in my life. I love being a mother. I love being theirs.

People say that parenting isn't rewarding (or that the rewards don't come until years down the road), but they're full of crap. There is nothing more rewarding than when James brings me a pretty dandelion that he picked outside (or an enormous armful of them- silly boy!). Or when Jolie climbs onto my lap and gives me a slimy little smooch. Or when one of them is owie and only Mommy's kisses will cure their ails. :) I love seeing their pride and self-satisfaction when they succeed at something hard. I love seeing them treat one another with kindness, friendship and love. I love seeing how much they love Daddy, and knowing how much they love me.

And I do know.

How much more reward can a person ask for than that??

I love these babies, and I will love them when they're grown. Our family is eternal, and nothing makes me happier!

*Photography courtesy of Li - a la Photography by Li